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Funny Jokes
 
 PHYSICAL EXAMINATION

A young man goes to a doctor for a physical examination. When he gets into the room, the man strips for his exam. He has a dick the size of a little kid's little finger. A nurse standing in the room sees his little dick and begins to laugh hysterically. The young man gives her a stern look and say, "You shouldn't laugh, it's been swollen like that for two weeks now!"

 WILL IT HURT MUCH, DOCTOR?

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"
The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."
"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks. "Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."
"Like this?"
"A little more..."
"Like this?"
"No. A little more..."
"Like this?"
"Yes. Does that hurt?"
"A little bit."
"Now stretch it over your head!"

 Kentucky virus

You have just received the "Kentucky Virus"!!!
As we aren’t got no programming experience, this here Virus works on the
honor system.
Please delete all the files on your hard drive, and manually forward this
virus to everyone on your mailing list.
Thanks for your cooperation.

 House Sitting

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, "I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died."
The man was very upset and yelled, "You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today,
you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn't come down.
Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and
the vet was working on patching him up. Then when
I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away."
The brother thought about it and apologized.
"So how's Mom?" asked the man.
"She's on the roof and won't come down."

 Practically a genius

On a shopping trip to the city, a backwoods farmer bought a 24-piece jigsaw
puzzle. He worked on it every night for two weeks. Finally, the puzzle was finished.
"Look what I've done, Jess," he said proudly to a visiting neighbor.
"That's surely something', Willard. How long it take you?"
"Only two weeks."
"Never done a puzzle myself," Jess said. "Is two weeks fast?"
"Darn tooting'," Willard said. "Look at the box. It says,
'From two to four years."

A TRIP TO THE CINEMA

A man goes into a cinema with his dog to watch a film.
It's a romantic comedy and when there's a funny seen the dog starts laughing.
A little later on there's a sad part and suddenly the dog starts crying.
This goes on throughout the entire film, laughing and crying at all the right places.
A man sitting a few rows back has witnessed the entire thing and decides
to follow the man out.
In the foyer, he approaches the dog owner and says, "That's truly amazing!""It certainly is" The dog owner replied, "He hated the book!

 
 
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